As it happens on most holidays, Lincoln Park has gradually become a ghost town. It’s no wonder the ugly sweaters start coming out the weekend after Thanksgiving, because this week and next are darrrk, socially, in our little corner of the world. Our resident DePaul’ians have long since fled the scene and anyone who’s not an actual Chicagoan, born and raised, is making the slow drip out of the city, back to their respective homelands. Or the suburbs.
The former roommate and I, both Nebraskans who didn’t find a mid-spring trek to the mid-best a necessity, used to wake up and drive around the streets of Chicago on Easter mornings just because it was the only weekend day we’d ever witnessed that Lincoln Park looked post-apocalyptic, completely devoid of humans (no traffic! Nowhere to be, per se, but also no traffic!). It was only a slight deviance from our normal Sunday morning jaunts to Einstein in sweats, getting side-eyed by church goers, but that’s beside the point.
So maybe I’ve stuck around longer than I should this year, because the remnant Lincoln Parkers are being JERKS. I’d like to seriously know what the eff is going on with my leftover, yet-to-peace and please-tell-me-they’re-not-lifer Lincoln Park neighbors?!
In the past few days alone I’ve been swooped in front of, bowed out of the way and otherwise generally disregarded at ‘hood haunts like Urban Surplus, Walgreens, The Spice House (that was less of a swoop, more of an aggressive verbal assault as said swooper was elderly and with-crutch) and the bus stop (fine, this is a daily occurrence … seriously folks, calm down!).
To dwell on The Spice House for a moment, I didn’t realize the “#2” spice box was this year’s Tickle Me Elmo for the adult, cooking-inclined set. JEEZ-US, lady. My poor grandma in Arizona will now have to make do with the second-most popular Chicago themed spices like the Lake Shore Drive spice (?!) and Old Town Cheese Sprinkles (is this a joke?) due to your snatching up the last FOUR “#2″ boxes, despite my proximity/purchase intent. Sigh.
In any case! Cheer up, kids. It’s 40 degrees in our fair city on Wednesday, December 21 and despite the fact that it’s dreary as hell and this is most certainly an indication of impending global warming and a heinous January to come, aren’t we supposed to be in a joyful holiday spirit? Plus. Better days (i.e. a few standard issue vacation days) are on the way.
Merry & happy! See ya in the New Year.
